I Don’t Take Risks Staring Down the Barrel of a [redacted].

Operation Launch Pad's Motto: If you plan on being INTERNET FAMOUS, maybe learn the very basics of 'interneting' first.

We all know which word I removed from the above title. You should also know why. The world of cyberspace has become an extreme of extremes. So many rules govern this intangible world of literally ones and zeros accurately designed to gift wrap perception on a platter and serve you a plate of serotonin or misery, or even both- depending on your pallet. I’ve seen one too many arise and become a phenomenon; a deity of some sort on one of the Isles of Social Media. The accolade that many dream of achieving with just a tripod, good lighting, and a likable persona- or a fictitious niche interest…but I digress, and often rarely do. This ‘failure’ is ever present as they fall short of the preconceived ceilings they must pass to steer their boat just a tad closer to the Isle. Spoiler, they never make it.

Before I continue, let the record state that I am using the word ‘famous’ in reference to gaining a dedicated following and not a mass audience or impressions count.

Now that the body of my argument cannot misrepresent my intentions on grounds that its premise was misunderstood, I promise you, there is no cheat code to the algorithm. Becoming famous online has much to do with time, and not necessarily in a linear sense, which I will explain later. There is no hashtag great enough to pull your post, that is probably buried pages deep in a thick binder of merging realities convulsing violently, face-front so that a user can decipher whether or not it has met their interest. Their brain subconsciously asks, “Does this person have a likable persona?” or “Does this video correctly scratch the roots of that one unspoken territory slash ideology which I would love to get lost in?”. NEWSFLASH, if neither of those questions beat the speed clock that seems to be on Xanax at that very moment, then you dear one, would not have been chosen. Your boat is once again stalled, and if this keeps happening, you will run out of resources- namely grit, resilience, and or inspiration, and you will inevitably capsize.

What then, is the difference between being able to go viral or not ever coming out of that funk that your online presence seems to be in? Let’s consult a very short checklist, and this time, be honest with ourselves about where we fall:

Number 1 - DO YOU, OR DO YOU NOT, HAVE A LIKABLE PERSONA?

According to a very broad search on Google that involved zero research skills, persona refers to an aspect of one’s character that is either presented or perceived by others. In the simplest terms, you do not have to sell yourself to users whom you wish to grasp a hold of. Inherently, you do not have to be a likable person. So do not be dismayed if you believe that your personality sucks! Didn’t ask, don’t care, there is still lint in Michigan’s water supply- allegedly :). However, what you present, or whatever façade which you decide to run with, must be digestible upon perception.

Number 2 (and let’s just get right into this one)-

WHAT CAN YOU OFFER A SPECIFIC SUB-SET OF A PLATFORM?

Do you possess knowledge of things that are important to said sub-set? Are you a user, character, nepo-baby/child/human/relation/anything really, to the subject of this sub-set? Can you be regarded, based on presentable qualities or experiences, as a guru of some sort to said sub-set? And finally, will your presence offer or add more to this collective voice in a way so distinctly that you can pitch it to anyone at any time? If you cannot answer yes to at least two of the posed questions, then you my friend, will never sail successfully to Isle Trending, Mount Influencer, or Land O’ Content Creator.

If you can remember, or maybe just scroll to the opening of my second paragraph to jog your memory a bit, it was mentioned that becoming famous online is greatly impacted by time. Consider this, millions of people have access to the World Wide Web. As such, millions of people utilize social media. Therefore, millions of people have access to seeing whatever it is that you post. Scary a thought for those who must fear digital footprint, but euphoric in the amazing qualities of rapidly produced binary code to those who wish to journey to the Isle of Fame. Mustn’t we then consider that, to gain as much interaction as one possibly can from the mere possibility of being noticed by a fraction of these users, there must be something ALWAYS PRESENT for them to interact with? It is very easy for a video, a post, a highlight, a reel, a thread, a tweet, a pin, a snap, a whatever, to fall into the abyss of the unending internet.

To bring this home for you, how quickly do you move on when you come across something that does not interest you? Exactly! In the same breath, how easy is it to take a liking to something that does? Again, Exactly! Not to be a smartass here, but the reason you took a liking to it was because it fell into the category of #1 or #2 above or even both. You may then be wondering, I may like it, interact with it, but who says I am now a devoted member of the king’s guard dressed in a white cloak? The answer is, you may not be….immediately. But, interaction plants a seed to blossom, and this is where time comes in. The more interaction that one garners, the more you row towards the Isle.

Here's the bottom line, I don’t take risks starring down the barrel of a [redacted]. I have been an avid user of the internet and a successful fixer of many accounts by not focusing on a viral moment. This should never be the aim for one that seeks to develop and maintain a solid presence on planet cyberspace, rather than being a somewhat temporary visitor. Analogies aside, the internet can work for you rather than against you. One does not need to go viral to maintain a presence. Maintaining a presence creates a greater chance of going viral, more than once. Maintaining a presence also allows you to understand the internet. You see, I am extremely aware that it’s better to not have the word [redacted] being casually thrown around in this written work.

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